Jimmy Earll: April 2014

Welcome to the 2014 Miss Statutory Rape Beauty Pageant...

In 4th place, she had sex with a 17-year-old male
student during a school-sponsored camping trip to the Rockies.
She was an English teacher at Brighton Charter High School and
wife of the school's principal, Chris McCandless.
She has been fired as a teacher
and faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted...
all the way from Colorado...let's hear it for...
CARRIE McCANDLESS.

...and in 3rd place...a 23-year-old music teacher at Greenfield High School in Greenfield, Missouri
has been arrested on allegations that she had a sexual relationship with a student. Back on May 15th,
Alison M. Peck was charged with two counts of statutory rape of a child under the age of 17.
These were followed up on May 18th with charges in a second county and she is now facing statutory rape and sodomy charges...let's give a warm round of applause for...ALISON PECK.

...we're gonna take a break from our competition and award our life time achievement award...for

all of her hard work and commitment...the legend...the one the only...MARY KAY LETOURNEAU.

...our next award is Miss Congeniality...this award typically goes to the 'not so attractive contestant' in the pageant...but she has a 'great personality'...this years winner is no different...a special education teacher at Magnolia Junior High School in Magnolia, Arkansas
has been arrested on allegations that she rented motel rooms for a 12-year-old girl and a
13-year-old girl to have sex with others. Sanders has been arrested on 12 counts of
permitting abuse of a minor and 12 counts of accomplice to rape...2010 Miss Congeniality is...
DONNA LOU SANDERS.

...now back to our competition...our 1st runner up was a middle school teacher
and has been charged with having sex numerous times with a 14-year-old student, including
in a classroom, her apartment and once in a vehicle while his 15-year-old cousin drove...all
the way from Florida...DEBRA BEASLEY LaFAVE.

...and this year's winner is wife to a dentist and a member of the local
mormon church...she had sex with two 13-year-old boys...fresh from this
month's headlines...all the way from Livermore, California...the winner
of this year's 2014 Miss Statutory Rape Beauty Pageant is...
CHRISTINE HUBBS.

Honorable Mention:

BETH GEISEL...was a teacher at Christian Brothers Academy in Albany, NY, a

private Catholic school. She was fired from the position in July, 2005, after allegations
of a sexual relationship between Geisel and at least one 16-year-old male student
surfaced. After a police investigation, she was charged with two felony charges of rape
in the third degree and two charges of endangering the welfare of a minor.

PAMELA ROGERS TURNER was a 27-year-old teacher and coach at
Centertown Elementary School in McMinnville, TN. She was arrested in
February, 2005 on charges of statutory rape, after allegations surfaced of an
ongoing sexual relationship between herself and a 13-year-old student.

a very heart warming Thanksgiving story... (11/16/2010)

This only happens to me!!

Since moving to this town 2+ years ago, I've been having this barber shop problem. I can't find a normal barber in this town...to protect the innocent, this town rhymes with Tuba City and is 45 minutes north of Sacramento. I think part of my problem is I don't want to spend more than $10 for a haircut and i think that's where my problem starts. But I've lived in many towns and I've never had this problem before. Where do I begin...

I first tried this haircut mill...you know the one, where they have this sports bar motif...they shampoo and cut your hair and then pull out this machine that massages your back...all for $50...WTF??

But, most recently I went to this hmong lady who had dining room table chairs in her waiting room and I think all she heard was SHORT because she made me look like a Q-tip!! All for 12 'da-raw' when her sign outside the shop said $9 for a haircut.

I also had this other lady that cut my hair...tattoo ridden and didn't ever wear a bra...normally that would be a good thing but in this case...I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

But the reason for this write up is the experience i had with this other $9 dollar barber...I should have ran for the hills when I saw his dirty yellow stained smock. While he was cutting my hair he told me about his brother who got arrested for using and dealing crack...not a big surprise in this town. Then he said his brother and his friends invented a new way of taking crack...they would grind up the crack...mix it with water...make a crack slurry out of it...draw it up in a turkey baster...insert it in their butthole and shoot the solution up their ass...NO LIE...TRUE STORY...while this dude had sharp instruments at my head he was telling me this story...WTF!!

...i'm just debating whether i take him up on his offer...for my family to join his family for thanksgiving dinner this year...tempting.

asian chick mugs

you'll never see this again...a mugshot rarity...i have no idea what she did 'wong' but the pic made me laugh...i'm thinking she was spreading one too many fungal infections at her nail salon.

i guess those kung fu movies don't pay $h*t because actress, bai ling was arrested for shop lifting $16 worth of junk on the day after valentine’s day from an LA airport.

i stand corrected...i guess crying asian female mugs aren't as rare as i thought...

white power mugs

meet dion milam...a 30-year-old california inmate may be the scariest looking criminal EVER!! i guess he got roughed up by sheriff's deputies and i'm guessing by the looks of that tattoo on his neck it may have been the big black deputies...or the buff filipino deputies...what?...milam who wears "Aryan" and "Honor" tattoos above his eyebrows is being charged with murder...SURPRISE!!

with black history month just around the corner, meet john ditullio, 24...he is charged with stabbing a young couple...he sports the very fashionable neo nazi tattoos this season has to offer...a large swastika and the words "f**k you" on his neck...will go well with a classic V neck.

curtis michael allgier, who shot and killed a guard during an escape from a prison hospital...he was later apprehended after a car chase that ended at a fast food restaurant in utah...someone call tom hanks cuz i think i see a clue to the devinci code on his left ear.

There's a Dead Muskrat on your Head...My Top 10

if you're gonna put a dead animal on your head at least try to make it a little natural looking...i went to dental school with a dude whose dad did Burt Reynolds' rug...it's not bad but you can still tell...maybe it all comes down to hairline...i think the hairline needs to be age appropriate...

here's my top 10...

#10 Nicolas Cage

I hate to bag on this guy cuz he's one of my favorite actors...but that kinda looks like a old WW I army helmet on his head...

#9 Burt Reynolds

I think my classmate's dad did a nice job...a little too 'robocop' looking...

#8 John Travolta

king of the 'robocop' look...but who cares his wife is hot...

#7 Chuck Norris

here's the deal 'walker texas ranger'...i think you would look cool bald...just let 'er shine!!

#6 Sam Donaldson

maybe if you give it enough time those eyebrows may cover up the top of your head...

#5 Marv Albert

YES!!

#4 Rod Blagojevich

you see!!...just bring up the hairline a smidge...

#3 Tony Curtis

once you hit age 65...just stop!!

#2 Donald Trump

umm hello...hairspray??

(that sounded a little gay...sorry)

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and my #1 pick...

PHIL SPECTOR...at least he has several looks...i personally enjoy the justin bieber look...thanks for stopping by...and as a special treat please enjoy this Pat Boone bonus: